How Can You Get Your Elderly Loved One to Accept Your Help?
Coaxing your elderly loved one to accept the help that you’re desperate to give her can sometimes feel like a losing battle. And if your loved one doesn’t trust the help that you’re offering, you might find yourself in a difficult situation with her.
Work with What You Know about Your Loved One
Your loved one isn’t a stranger to you so you have some inside information about what makes her tick. Rely on that information when you’re making decisions about how to help your loved one or how to respond when she tells you that she doesn’t want assistance.
Observe How Your Loved One Is Doing Now
The most difficult part can be stepping back for a moment and really looking at how your loved one is doing right now. It’s possible that she’s right and that she doesn’t need your assistance. It can also be possible that your loved one needs help, but not as much as you’re trying to offer. Try to be objective in your observations.
Rephrase Your Offers of Help
If your loved one’s biggest objections are how you offer your help, it’s time to figure out how to rephrase your offers so that they’re more appealing to your loved one. In general, dictating to your loved one or otherwise trying to force her hand is not going to be effective. Make offers rather than demands. Respect when she tells you no so that she doesn’t feel pushed.
Give Her Other Options
Your loved one might have problems with the fact that you’re the one trying to provide the help. That can especially be the case if the tasks are personal, such as bathing or dressing. Having other options, such as elderly care providers, can remove some of the embarrassment for your loved one, thereby removing her objections, too. When your loved one feels as if she has no choice and no options, she’s likely to be more resistant.
This isn’t a perfect formula for getting your loved one to accept your help, but it can certainly help her to understand that you’re just trying to do the right thing for her.